Love Letter: (Failed) Attempt #1

Dearest Mr. Romeo Theodore,

Teddy bears are called 'teddy' because of Theodore Roosevelt, the n th president of US. He went out for hunting one day and he saw a bear cub. He didn't kill it. So they named bears as teddy bears! It's just general knowledge for you, since you little bear has too much knowledge that isnt general at all. I know the name is old, stop complaining, but since I love teddy bears, and since teddy bears came from Theodore, you could say that I love you. Teddy bears are cuter than you, though.

Since today isnt Valentine's Day, I shall not write lovey dovey mushy yucky stuff, which never, and I mean NEVER, fails to make me throw up (it's a hyperbole; dont get too worried). It's just an ordinary letter, really. You can throw it away, but I know you wont cuz you got my disease of keeping every momentos - movie tickets, entry tickets, bookmarks, scribbles, doodles, everything, that sometimes I just dont know what to do when I stare at that blue box with all those things and you smiling so sheepishly.

I didn't write to you during V-Day cuz I was busy collecting gifts at school and busy complaining to Waning that I received so little lollipops and jealous of Wen Jo that she received so much lollipops (I use 'so much' cuz it's uncountable; my grammar is perfectly correct). I think I havent thank you for Mr. Bean's teddy! Even though the eyes are not in proportion - must be the disadvantage of being a scientific student... (By the way, you should know Waning and Wen Jo now. We're the 3Ws. Waning is the one with reddish purple-ish brown hair, and Wen Jo is the one who talks about Prince Charming.)

I have some complaints for you, so listen up:
01 STOP PINCHING MY FACE EVERY MINUTE
02 STOP HUGGING ME WHEN I STARTED COUGHING
03 STOP ASKING ME TO THANK YOU FOR MR. BEAN'S TEDDY
04 STOP ASKING ME TO STOP CALLING YOU THEODORE
05 STOP CALLING ME 'MAIA' AND START CALLING ME 'ANGEL'
06 STOP BRINGING ME TO FRENCH RESTAURANTS AND BRING ME TO AMUSEMENT PARKS
07 STOP BEING AFRAID OF CLOWNS AND MONKEYS AND BALLOONS AND WHATNOTS
08 STOP SAYING YOU'RE AFRAID OF ROLLER COASTER BUT ASK FOR A SECOND ROUND
09 STOP STARING AT ME WITH THAT WEIRD PERVERTIC LOOK

Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.
I guess we love each other. In a really weird way. Because you can be so romantic, and I can be so crazy. We are like lovers and friends. Aren't we just manificient? I know, I know. Stop being a narcissist, however it is spelled. Having a smartass boyfriend means have to be as smart as you. I hate smartasses. BUT, since you're like a robot and dont seem to have any feelings and you have me an emotional crazy girl as your girlfriend, you have to be as crazy as I am. So we're even.

Somehow, smartasses are smart. You manage to be scientific and artistic at the same time. You can analyze Mary-Charlie the Unisex Model Skeleton and sing Can't Help Falling In Love at the same time. Your friends say you were in the school choir as a tenor solo and won the national competition; you play the piano, the violin, the saxophone (because of me, your friends say), and the guitar; you sketch people, especially your grandma, because she was the beautiful woman (and you dont hv to lie to me because she IS beautiful). You are just such a smartass. And, like I said, I hate smartasses. I wonder how I actually fell in love with you. Hmm, life's a box of chocolates.

There is still 11 months to go. The next V-Day! Do you remember the first time we met, the first time we dated, the first time we held hands, the first time I gave you a flying kiss, the first time you gave me a good night kiss on the cheek? I know you kept a diary because of me, your friends say so. They betrayed you, I know! But I love them, and they love me! Dont be jealous. It's another hyperbole. I just love it when you get jealous, though.

Remember my birthday years ago, in high school? You gave me a tulip, variegated ones, and a gladiolus. During prom, you gave me a dozen of purple viscarias. Then later we got together. Sometimes you give me roses, sometimes not. There was once you gave me forget-me-nots, because you said there were no more roses at your garden, and I actually cried. Later that, our parents discovered about our relationship. Your parents were okay with it, but not mine. I was forbidden to see you, even at school, and I felt like it was Romeo and Juliet tragedy falling upon us. (Sometimes I thought it was cool, y'know, because we were the characters in the Story) One night when I was reading Romeo and Juliet you climbed up on my balcony and hugged so tightly I thought I would choke, and I think you cried! Aww, Theodore cried! Dont deny; I know you cried. Before you left you gave me a spider flower, and I had to ask you the meaning of 'elope', which totally broke the melancholic, romantic mood we had! How did it end again?
[Flower Language]

Passion.
Mrs. Juliet Teddy,
Maia

p/s where's the wedding ring?!

Extracted from here